Family for Me

I define family as a group of individuals who love and support each other during a specific time period. I have several families currently in my life. I have my blood family (mom, sister, aunts, and cousins). I have my college family (which is my roommate, friends, and apartment complex friends). I also have my long distance family (which are those individuals who live in Morgantown, WV or use to live there). In all my families we offer advice to each other, have debates (which could be seen as arguing), we love each other, help each other out, and support each other when times are good or bad.

 I do not fit into the type of family that is gay or lesbian. My aunt is homosexual (lesbian) but my grandparents (her parents were heterosexual). My parents were heterosexual (my father is deceased) my mom chooses to stay single at this time in her life but I think she will remarry later or find a heterosexual partner for life. My sister is getting married this month to her boyfriend that she meant while at SJSU. 

Katrina

Safe Sex

1.                   I am surprised to read about safe sex in a communications book. However, I did find the section on page 290 titled Practice Safe Sex very enlightening. This section provided statistical information on how many people had become infected with HIV in 2006. I must admit I am very surprised in this day of sex education and the promotion of condom use that there are so many transmitted sexual diseases. The textbook states that “one in four girls ages 14-19 is infected with a common STD”(Wood, 2010).

             The textbook discusses reasons why people have unsafe sex. Two reasons they mention are drugs and alcohol impair a person’s judgment. The study they did in a college setting found that people who heavily drank did not take precautions when having sex.  Another reason individuals do not take precautions are because they believe it won’t happen to them. This is a big misconception that people have about various aspects of life. People need to accept and understand that anything can happen to anyone on any given day or at any given time. People think they won’t be a victim of crime, or get caught drinking and driving, or get an STD because they hang out with the right people. Their friends will keep them out of trouble or these types of things don’t happen to people like them….they happen to “other people”. There is a saying “Ignorance is bliss” but really ignorance is only bliss until it happens to you, then it is no longer bliss.  I can only encourage people to be aware of their surrounds and to take care of their body because you only get one body. Once you contract a disease that effects the rest of your life you will regret being ignorant to the issue.

            One word of advice my mother gave to me about having sex or making love as she put it. Know who your partner has made love with in the past because as soon as you sleep with that individual you have slept with everyone he/she has had intercourse with. That's the true meaning of safe sex from my moms point of view.

I hope this advice helps,

Katrina

Committed

1.            I am in a relationship were we both are committed to each other but we are not in love (it may lead to love later but right now we are good friends). We support each other with words of encouragement. He plays professional football and encourages me to finish college and continue on with my education so I can be a sports therapist. I watch his games on T.V. and go to them when his team visits the west coast to play. I text him good luck messages before every game and he responses “Thanks Doll”. He texts me messages when I have a mid-term and finals wishing me luck. We talk on the phone but cannot see each other as I am in school on the west coast and he plays for a team on the east coast.

     According to our textbook on page 278, “commitment is the intention to remain involved in a relationship”. We are both committed to stay active in each other’s lives by open communication and staying in touch. We talk at least once a week and text each other several times. It is a good thing technology has advanced as far as it has otherwise it would not be as easy to be committed to our relationship. He does have a picture of us up in his locker and I have another picture of us on my cell phone which helps serve as a reminder that we want to know how each other are doing at any given time.

                         On the opposite side is a relationship that has love but no commitment. My best friend from elementary school and I love each other like sisters. But we hardly communicate with each other because we are busy and accept that. However, if she ever called me and needed help I would be there for her in a minute and she knows that. Just like I know if I have a problem I can get help from her.

                         A love relationship you know will always be there even if you don’t have constant communication going back and forth. However, the committed relationship takes more time and focus to make sure it endures for time. If you stop communicating in a committed relationship the time and effort you put into can be wasted as the relationship could end. It is important to stay in a committed relationship and invest time in it if you want to grow into some form of love. There are many types of love: friendship love, family love, and relationship/romantic love. Once the committed relationship has turned to love you will always be able to communicate with that individual even if there has been a lapse in time.

Thanks,

Katrina

Online Relationships

1.            Online relationships can have a certain risk that a face to face relationship may or may not endure. I do think it is unethical to misrepresent yourself either in person or online. I do think individuals who communicate online are more likely to lie about their physical appearance than about themselves as an individual. As much as I feel this is still unethical the individual who lies about their physical being may perceive themselves in that manner so they don’t recognize it as lying.  For example some people who have lost a significant amount of weight still have a self-perception that they are extremely overweight when they are not. Of course there are those who are predators online and they lie about everything age, sexual orientation, appearance and anything else that might keep them from showing their true self so they cannot capture their prey. For the sake of this post I am not referring to those types of individuals but rather society’s norms of online daters and those seeking a relationship.

        I think deception is found in both online and face-to face relationships. Online is about physical deception the majority of the time while face-to-face deception is about the makeup of the individual. Meaning how financially secure they are, what they do for a living, and their age. Being deceitful is wrong no matter what you are misrepresenting about yourself. We should want an honest relationship built on trust, truth, and open communication. I understand this may be hard to find but if we accept the lies people tell us in the beginning they will continue to lie through the relationship. A relationship built on a foundation of lies is bound to crumble and fall apart.

Katrina

Personal Changes

. In chapter 10 the part of the chapter that stuck with me was the section on “Personal Changes” under the external pressures section. This topic is close to home for me as I get ready to graduate and move across country. I realize that as we grown and have life changes that our friendships change as well. On page 266 of the textbook it states, “The people you spent time with and counted as friends shifted when you started high school, entered college, or moved to a new town”. This statement made me reflect on my times in high school. I realize that I do not keep in contact with anyone that I was friends with in high school. I went to high school in El Paso, TX as my father was in the military at the time. Most of my friends who were from military families now live in other states. I know this because my sister and I shared some of the same friends in high school and she keeps in touch with them through Facebook. I guess I wasn’t really committed to keeping in touch and I didn’t put any effort into staying friends. I do plan on being committed in keeping in touch with three of my best guy friends after college. We have already planned and booked a trip to Las Vegas for 2012.

Katrina