Feeling Rules

The section on the “Feeling Rules” is very enlightening when it comes to various cultures and how they allow people to feel. On page 177 of the textbook it states, “the Semai of Malaysia think that being angry brings bad luck and they try to avoid anger. That may be one reason that not a single murder among Semais has ever been recorded!” These feeling rules are determined by the society in which the individuals live. I would like to read more research on this topic and see if the feeling rules have changed over the centuries in countries where multiple cultures have blended.

In the Western cultural I would agree with the textbook that our feeling rule is one of individuality. This allows people to express their individual style and pride. Americans are driven by competition in some form. This could be in school with grades, in sports, at work, or even who is accepted into which sorority or fraternity. We compete to be the best or to be chosen by a certain group. In wanting to compete we express our individuality of striving to be the best, or the most spirited, or the most athletic.

-Katrina

Catastrophic failure-we all have this fear sometime

1.              Of all the fallacies that are mention on page 189 of our textbook the one I currently most identify with is “Fear of catastrophic failure”. This is because I am a graduating senior applying to Graduate school and taking the GRE. I did not do well on my first GRE exam and am afraid in mid-October I will fail it again. I also keep dreaming that I end up failing all of my courses this last semester. That leads to me never graduating and I become homeless. When I talk with friends and family they tell me not to worry that I will do fine. I can’t get over this fear something is going to happen to knock me off track. I just hope it is not the termites that I just discovered in my apartment the other night. I just moved into my first apartment in August before that I was living in the dorms.

      It is through constantly reminding myself that things will work out and everything happens for a reason that I try to stay positive. If I continue to use the process of dual communication and monitoring my communication this should help me revise my interpersonal communication skills with others. I need to focus on the positive and roll with the negative.

thanks,

Katrina

"The Cognitive Labeling View of Emotions"

1.          In chapter 7 of our textbook on page 175 the author Woods provides us with a visual diagram of “the Perceptual View of Emotions”. The diagram goes from External Event to Perception of Event to Interpreted Emotion to Response. This diagram offers a basic understanding of how we interpret an incident and then relate it to emotion. However another diagram is offered by the author on the same page called “The Cognitive Labeling View of Emotions”. I believe this diagram provides a better understanding of emotions and how they are interpreted. The diagram goes in the following manner “External Event to Physiological Responses to Label for Response to Emotion”. The main factor is how we label our physiological response. This diagram makes more sense to me because we all react differently to situations. It is when our body reacts to stimulation that our brain labels whether it is a positive or negative reaction. This is usually caused by past experiences that we react in a certain manner. However, new experiences may tend to make use nervous, scared or anxious because it is the unknown.

        Other perceptions of emotions appear to me to be more geared to a particular environment such as work or they lack including the external event as part of their method. The external event must take place for there to be an emotional/physiological reaction which then triggers us to label it and provide what the individual feels is an appropriate response.

          An example of this is when my grandfather passed away. My sister and I were upset and cried because we lost a loved one very close to us and didn’t want him to be gone. My mom cried very little because she knew she had to be a strong support for my grandmother and mom knew that my grandfather had lived a long and happy life and he would be with God now. My grandmother never cried at all, she was still in shock weeks after the funeral had passed. At some point she started to have mini strokes, I think it was a reaction to the loss of her lifelong friend and soul mate.

-Katrina

“Listening is a 10 part skill”

In reading “Listening is a 10 part skill” by Ralph Nichols that is from 1957 I learned many of the points are still valid in today’s society. I did not realize we only listened to about 25% of what was said in a conversation. In reading through the ten points I could recognize how I use to be a bad listener but how I have change to be a good listener. When I was in high school I would listen to a teacher talk on a topic and think this is boring and I would never need the information in real life and it was a waste of my time. So I would sit and pretend to listen while my mind wondered about an upcoming school event or think about something that happened at lunch.

                I become a better listener when I started working in retail because I learned what certain customers were looking for in specific clothing items or shoes. Once I learn what the repeat customers liked, when they walked into the store I could say “hey we just got a new shipment in and I think you might like this item”. Many of my repeat customers thought that was great that I had remembered their fashion likes and dislikes.

                After working for a year between high school and going to college I realized in college I listened to the instructors differently. I can’t say I never lapsed back into the “this is boring so I will look like I am listen mode”, but most of the time I thought “okay I know I am not going to need this later in life but what information do I need to earn a good grade in the class”. When I started actively listening I realized I was putting pictures in my head to go along with what the instructor said. This actually helped me memorize the information. My friends sometimes tell me I am the one person they know that has the most random useless information. Meaning, I know answers to questions most people do not find worthy to retain. I take that as a compliment. It helps me when I watch Jeopardy every night.

                Out of all of the tips given in the reading I find number 3 “Hold Your Fire” the most pertinent to me in my current life. Everyone wants to talk politics or religion or what I consider other “hot topics”. I find myself trying to mentally calm myself down because we have various view points and I want to prove the other person wrong. I can’t say why I want to prove them wrong, maybe so I can be right or maybe it is just human nature to be so passionate about one’s own personal beliefs. I then remember while calming myself down if I actually listen to what they are saying maybe I will learn something new which could change my outlook on my opinion. Constantly listening is exhaustive but it helps you to be a better person in the long run. 

Katrina

Open question of the week-Preoccupation

In chapter 6 one of the concepts I found to be true is preoccupation under the internal obstacles section starting on page 153 of the textbook. According to the textbook there are five internal obstacles that can get in the way of listening, they are “preoccupation, prejudgment, reacting to emotionally loaded language, lack of effort, and not recognizing or adapting to diverse listening styles” (Wood,2011). My grandmother passed away on July 26^th of this year and I was scheduled to take the GRE (a test to get into graduate school) on August 1^st. My mind was so preoccupied with helping my mom make funeral arrangements and tell family who lived out of state that I couldn’t concentrate on the exam. I knew when I left the exam I had done poorly because I couldn’t focus on the math. Of course I told mom right away and she understood. According to the GRE guidelines I can’t take the test for another 60 days so I have resigned up to take it again in October. I hope to be more focused this time so I can get into the Sports and Exercise Psychology program at West Virginia University.
-Katrina