“Listening is a 10 part skill”

In reading “Listening is a 10 part skill” by Ralph Nichols that is from 1957 I learned many of the points are still valid in today’s society. I did not realize we only listened to about 25% of what was said in a conversation. In reading through the ten points I could recognize how I use to be a bad listener but how I have change to be a good listener. When I was in high school I would listen to a teacher talk on a topic and think this is boring and I would never need the information in real life and it was a waste of my time. So I would sit and pretend to listen while my mind wondered about an upcoming school event or think about something that happened at lunch.

                I become a better listener when I started working in retail because I learned what certain customers were looking for in specific clothing items or shoes. Once I learn what the repeat customers liked, when they walked into the store I could say “hey we just got a new shipment in and I think you might like this item”. Many of my repeat customers thought that was great that I had remembered their fashion likes and dislikes.

                After working for a year between high school and going to college I realized in college I listened to the instructors differently. I can’t say I never lapsed back into the “this is boring so I will look like I am listen mode”, but most of the time I thought “okay I know I am not going to need this later in life but what information do I need to earn a good grade in the class”. When I started actively listening I realized I was putting pictures in my head to go along with what the instructor said. This actually helped me memorize the information. My friends sometimes tell me I am the one person they know that has the most random useless information. Meaning, I know answers to questions most people do not find worthy to retain. I take that as a compliment. It helps me when I watch Jeopardy every night.

                Out of all of the tips given in the reading I find number 3 “Hold Your Fire” the most pertinent to me in my current life. Everyone wants to talk politics or religion or what I consider other “hot topics”. I find myself trying to mentally calm myself down because we have various view points and I want to prove the other person wrong. I can’t say why I want to prove them wrong, maybe so I can be right or maybe it is just human nature to be so passionate about one’s own personal beliefs. I then remember while calming myself down if I actually listen to what they are saying maybe I will learn something new which could change my outlook on my opinion. Constantly listening is exhaustive but it helps you to be a better person in the long run. 

Katrina

Open question of the week-Preoccupation

In chapter 6 one of the concepts I found to be true is preoccupation under the internal obstacles section starting on page 153 of the textbook. According to the textbook there are five internal obstacles that can get in the way of listening, they are “preoccupation, prejudgment, reacting to emotionally loaded language, lack of effort, and not recognizing or adapting to diverse listening styles” (Wood,2011). My grandmother passed away on July 26^th of this year and I was scheduled to take the GRE (a test to get into graduate school) on August 1^st. My mind was so preoccupied with helping my mom make funeral arrangements and tell family who lived out of state that I couldn’t concentrate on the exam. I knew when I left the exam I had done poorly because I couldn’t focus on the math. Of course I told mom right away and she understood. According to the GRE guidelines I can’t take the test for another 60 days so I have resigned up to take it again in October. I hope to be more focused this time so I can get into the Sports and Exercise Psychology program at West Virginia University.
-Katrina

Don't be a Pseudolistener while watching TV

In chapter six of out textbook the author discusses six types of non-listening patterns. These six patterns are: Pseudolistening, Monopolizing, Selective Listening, Defensive Listening, Ambushing, and Literal Listening.  While each of these six forms of non-listening have taken place at some point in my life I believe that pseudolistening is the most prevalent in my current life now, especially on Saturday and Sundays. I enjoy watching college and professional football (yes, I yell at the T.V.-I know they can’t hear me). So if someone is trying to talk to me while I am watching a game either in person or on the T.V. I really don’t pay attention to what they are saying and most times I simply agree. The definition according to the textbook of pseudolistening “is pretending to listen” (Wood, 2011). I am definitely guilty of not listening to people while watching football.

                I have taken a proactive measure in no longer being a pseudolistener during football games.  I now DVR all my games even if I am actively watching them so I can stop the game. This allows me to listen actively to the individual speaking with me and then return to where I left off on the game without missing a beat. 

-Katrina

Socialization into Gender Speech Communities

        Socialization into Gender Speech Communities which is found on page 110 of our textbook provides insightful information on how young children develop their communication communities through play. The author discusses how studies have shown play is sex segregated and this produces how children communicate not only within their own group but how they verbalize themselves to others.

I found this interesting because my sister and I were very different when we were growing up. She played with the boys and interacted with them in their games such as baseball and basketball while I interacted with the girls and played house, cleaned and pretended to bake. My sister was much more outgoing and stood up to people to voice her opinion. I was shy and intimidated by the rough housing boys in elementary school.

In middle school and high school things changed. My sister started playing sports on the girls’ team instead of the boys’ teams. She became more self-aware of her appearance and became much more girlish with using make-up and styling her hair. She also became more conforming to the ideas of the roles young women and young men are to play within our society. My sister definitely is more “expressive and focused on feeling and personal issues” as stated in our textbook on page 110. I became the opposite.  I communicate more “instrumentally and competitively” in person. I am very outgoing, opinionated and enjoy watching college football and professional football. I hang out with the boys and don’t beat around the bush when expressing my views even if I know the other person will not agree. I do have a few close girlfriends but my closest friends are guys. 

-Katrina

If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all!

According to the website  http://www.spectacle.org/freespch/musm/hate. hate speech in the United States is geared toward racism and anti-Semitic speech. This means this type of poisonous communication in protected by the First Amendment as freedom of speech. However if people use language that is libel or has profanity such as obscene words then it is not protect by the First Amendment.  I did not realize that profanity such as using cuss words were not protected by Freedom of speech. I don’t understand how hate language such as racist remarks are protected by the First Amendment when there are laws against hate crimes. I personally feel that racist remarks when said to hurt someone should not be acceptable in our society. I must say in the words of Avenue Q (a musical) “Everyone is a little bit racist” whether we want to acknowledge it or not.

            Our government has already become so involved in our personal lives, which I don’t think they should have the right to monitor us. However, if people have nothing better to do with their lives then spew hatred through the web or other means then let them. We don’t have to acknowledge their ignorance nor do we have to tolerate it by listening to them. Just tune into something else, which will only upset them even more. 

-Katrina

If not a Melting Pot how about a well Seasoned Stew?

By engaging in dual perspective as stated on pages 112-113 of out textbook, an individual recognizes and takes into consideration the other individuals   point of view during their communication process. It is important to understand that we will not all have the same view points on issues so it is critical to try and see things through the other persons perspective so the communication process is positive and insightful. Everyone can grow and learn when engaging in communication through the dual perspective process.

For example, since some people criticize the melting pot metaphor because they believe it encourages people erasing their differences instead of accepting them (which I do not agree with but I understand what they are saying). I would suggest America is like a seasoned stew. Each part of the stew has its own distinct flavor separately like the steak, carrots and potatoes by itself. Just like any individual culture has its own distinct flavor. However, when blended together along with adding some seasoning (which would be parts of the American culture) you create a new dish called a stew. When an individual eats a stew they can experience the pieces of the stew separately or together, it is up to the individual eating the stew how they want to enjoy the experience. The United States is the same, people can either experience multiple cultures in America or they can select which cultures they would like to understand.

-Katrina