“Listening is a 10 part skill”

In reading “Listening is a 10 part skill” by Ralph Nichols that is from 1957 I learned many of the points are still valid in today’s society. I did not realize we only listened to about 25% of what was said in a conversation. In reading through the ten points I could recognize how I use to be a bad listener but how I have change to be a good listener. When I was in high school I would listen to a teacher talk on a topic and think this is boring and I would never need the information in real life and it was a waste of my time. So I would sit and pretend to listen while my mind wondered about an upcoming school event or think about something that happened at lunch.

                I become a better listener when I started working in retail because I learned what certain customers were looking for in specific clothing items or shoes. Once I learn what the repeat customers liked, when they walked into the store I could say “hey we just got a new shipment in and I think you might like this item”. Many of my repeat customers thought that was great that I had remembered their fashion likes and dislikes.

                After working for a year between high school and going to college I realized in college I listened to the instructors differently. I can’t say I never lapsed back into the “this is boring so I will look like I am listen mode”, but most of the time I thought “okay I know I am not going to need this later in life but what information do I need to earn a good grade in the class”. When I started actively listening I realized I was putting pictures in my head to go along with what the instructor said. This actually helped me memorize the information. My friends sometimes tell me I am the one person they know that has the most random useless information. Meaning, I know answers to questions most people do not find worthy to retain. I take that as a compliment. It helps me when I watch Jeopardy every night.

                Out of all of the tips given in the reading I find number 3 “Hold Your Fire” the most pertinent to me in my current life. Everyone wants to talk politics or religion or what I consider other “hot topics”. I find myself trying to mentally calm myself down because we have various view points and I want to prove the other person wrong. I can’t say why I want to prove them wrong, maybe so I can be right or maybe it is just human nature to be so passionate about one’s own personal beliefs. I then remember while calming myself down if I actually listen to what they are saying maybe I will learn something new which could change my outlook on my opinion. Constantly listening is exhaustive but it helps you to be a better person in the long run. 

Katrina